Half of a conversation
      by Jay


       Monday, June 23, 2003 - 6:36 PM 

 So.....yea.  How are you doing?...  Long time no see, what have you been up to?...  uh huh... *pause*  well that's cool....  *longer pause*   hmmmm.... *acts interested* sweet...   Well it sounds like you've been doing pretty good for yourself... What's that?  Me?  Oh I haven't been doing too much recently...  Ok, you caught me... yea, I've been busy  as of late. You know, doing the same old stuff...  *listens*  HA! I wish!!  No, mostly I've been working either at HSU, or at the waterpark...   You would think that wouldn't you? Yes, I have seen alot of cute girls there, but then again most of them are jailbait so I try not to let myself get involved...   *fake laughter* Oh shut up, that's not even funny...    Anyways, there was this one funny thing that happened there recently, you'll get a kick out of it.... So I was doing my best attempt at being a lifeguard and such, watching my water and making sure everyone was being safe. Of course this day I was stuck guarding the lazy river, you know one of those rivers you just sit in a tube and go around in a large circle, and so it was pretty boring.... Yes, just like that!  I can't believe you still remember that! Man, that seemed like forever ago...  As I was saying, nothing ever happens at the river, most of the people are there just relaxing and all they do is go around in a giant circle so I'm bored out of my mind.  Well luckily all the lifeguards rotate on river, so you never stand in the same place for more than an hour. On one part of the river you have to actually cross the river to get to the next lifeguard position, and most of the lifeguards just walk around the edge to get there. Those brave and/or stupid lifeguards choose to jump over the river just to impress the ladies and to speed up the rotation a bit.  So there I was looking all cool and leader-like in my lifeguard uniform....HEY!... Stop laughing, that's not supposed to be the funny part!...  Anyways, it was my turn to rotate to that area so I had to find a way over river. Well I've always jumped over the river without any trouble. It's only like a 6 or 7 foot jump, nothing that's too hard to make... *blatantly lies* Sure you could make it! You've been working out recently and lost some weight, I'm sure you could easily jump that...  Of course    I'm not saying that just to make you feel better, why would you think that?...  Hehe...  Heck, I haven't even gotten to the good part yet.   So I gather up my stuff and prepare to awe all of the park guests with my awesome leaping ability.  I make a mad dash towards the river and leap like I've never leapt before!!!   It was brilliant!  For a second there, it felt like I was flying. An then it happened...  Nope! I actually made it!...  Ha! I knew you thought I was going to miss the jump. I told you it is only a 6 or 7 foot jump, it's not that hard to make.  But let me get on with the story... So I make this wonderful landing from an awesome jump over a river, and all the guests saw me and were like totally impressed.  At that moment I felt proud and was like "Yea, I'm cool, I just jumped over this river, I am the king".  Then I picked up my foot to take my first step towards my next position and WHAM!  My other foot slips on some water and comes out from under me, and the next thing I know I'm flying backwards and I slam into the concrete wall was just standing on....  Oh it gets better, listen to this.  Only half of my body hits the wall, the other half misses totally and it throws off my horizontal balance, so the instant my back hits the wall my feet fly over my head and I do a back flip into the river. And to make matters worse all of my gear goes flying everywhere.  Under normal circumstances I wouldn't worry too much about this happening, because no one usually sees a spectacle like this. Except this time there were about 15 guests floating on tubes next to me when I fell in... You bet it was embarrassing!   As usual I pop back out of the water acting as if nothing happened and all the guests were like "Are you okay?"  and I was like "Oh yea, I feel fine, it happens all the time!  I actually meant to get in the water anyways". Of course I never wanted to get in the water because it was bloody freezing at the time and I was still wearing my shirt and stuff... Yes I said bloody freezing, of course I'm allowed to be British every now and then...  Anyways,  now I have to pick up all of my stuff and get in my next position and while I'm doing it I look over to the guard standing at my old position and she's just laughing away.  I would feel pretty embarrassed about falling in front of a cute girl, but since she is 16 I wasn't trying to impress her and it didn't really bother me.  Well, I finally get to my next spot and I get out of the water  only to notice I'm missing my whistle. I had to wait 15 minutes at that spot for my whistle to go around the entire river so I could pick it up again. I'm lucky some guest didn't find it and keep it.  And to make matters worse, every time those witnesses went around the  river they would ask me if I was okay and I would have to play it off like nothing happened, all while trying to hide the giants scratches I had running down my entire right side... yea, it was pretty funny..  anyways, I better get going, I have to prepare for my family vacation to San Francisco this week... *plays it down* Yes, I'm going to visit Pixar (journal entry) and a major art academy while I'm there, but you don't have to make it sound so special, I'm just going to have some fun and relax...  *changes subject* By the way, have you seen my new site up yet?...  yea, it's at http://rrants.hsu.edu, you should check it out! Of course since I'm going to be gone this next week it won't be updated until after I get back, but there are plenty of things to read on it now!  Hopefully while I am on my trip I will have plenty of free time to draw new comics...  yea, like I said, you should check it out...   well, anyways, I better run, it was nice talking to you!...   yea, you too!... I guess  I'll talk to you later then, have fun! And don't forget to check out my website!!!!  *leaves*

     - J, the stereotypical conversationalist