Headphones Explanation
      by Paul

       
  Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 8:53 PM

    Ladies and gentleman…. I am the headphoned Canadian Moose! I see all, hear all, and……. right, do other stuff. Who dares question the authority of my wearing of headphones constantly and forever? Ah. You do. And I kind of understand the questioning, especially since there have been people who have never seen me without the music pumping things of goodness hanging from my neck. The simple reason is this: many people have their different drugs. Some people take heroine, some ingest steroids, some go around naked….. you get the idea. Well, my drug of choice is music. If I am not talking to someone, reading, or doing something that takes my attention, I’m listening to music. This is for several reasons.

  First and foremost is this: People suck. As such, my mood fluctuates frequently. Anything from cool people making me extremely happy makes me throw in some New Jersey (Bon Jovi 1987) to keep the mood up high. Anger on the other hand I have to quickly burn out by going hyper angry with my music. Rage can bring on anything from Kill ‘Em All (Metallica 1983), Minority (Green Day), or even HellBilly Deluxe (Rob Zombie 1998). This music is selected for the express reason of allowing my rage to vocalize to the point that it leaves me. Since killing and destroying people that annoy me isn’t really acceptable by society’s standards (see Columbine High School incident) I try to avoid committing mass homicide. On the other hand, there is humor. Humor is my almost standard mood (humor for me includes sarcasm). So, as a result I listen to anything from the Zoolander soundtrack (what other album can you listen to with two versions of “Relax” and “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go?”) to annoy everyone, or some Red Hot Chili Peppers to keep the sarcastic biting level at a high point. For even greater variety, whatever is motivating or making me work is also what I listen to. Currently “Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack” is keeping me pretty occupied. “The Pines of Rome” by Respighi is almost always good music to use for almost anything (except anger, as the triumphant sounds of the fourth movement may move an angered person to kill everyone around him with a large 40 lb. broadsword and cleave a monkeypox infested gerbil into 4 separate pieces with one stroke). Anyway, as the story goes, the most important reason for the great communicators around my neck is for mood balance to either enhance or lessen my moods.

   Second among these is *gasp* I might use them to work! Being around campus I don’t always have time to return to home base to use my power rig (computer) so I occasionally have to stop in a lab. As such, on occasion I also have to hear sound from a computer that can make none. All computers have jacks in them for such devices, and I make use of said jacks. ‘Nuff said.

   Lastly among these is: I use them to observe people!  Is there always music going in those headphones you ask? Heck no! When I want to eavesdrop I sure freakin do! Now are you satisfied? Good. Cuz that’s about it. Anymore questions about them will result in cleaving from the broadsword.

   Paul - Now you have no more freakin excuses to complain my fellow ranters!

Currently working on: Grappling the wombat
Currently watching: Jay the Webmaster work
Currently listening to: Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack
Currently Playing: Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne