Freshman with big balls
      by Paul

       
 Monday, June 16, 2003 11:45

  Ladies and gentlemen! I, as the only ranter representative of another portion of the country besides the south, would like to rant.... yeah.  Actually, I would like to provide another perspective besides our excellent guest ranter about the Freshman situation. Here it is:

 Freshman with Big Balls

1. Refuse to concede that they know jack crap about anything in life period, as most upperclassmen tell them. Come on folks, you only know crap if you let them tell you that you do. Have some freakin self respect.

2. Know when to keep their mouths shut and when to let the yummy brown stuff hit the fan. If you overstep your bounds, you won't get pounded like in high school, but you will not be allowed to socialize. Be nice and courteous and cordial, but if the man is layin the boot down on you for no reason, just push him back. Seniority and just existing is not an excuse to squish new blood.

3. You are the freakin new blood! You are what makes the campus vibrant and excited! If you think about it, nearly all social activities in college relate or revolve around freshman! Also, organizations, clubs, teams, and groups in general would have nothing if they didn't have you! Choose the groups you align with carefully, and lend your talents and skills to things that you believe in, not just whomever comes along. Also, you are a main source of ideas and as a result, keep up the enthusiasm and don't just shrink back.

4. Don't leave. As Jay has ranted in the past, and I now rant, COLLEGE IS YOUR HOME FOR 9 MONTHS OF THE YEAR! GOING HOME IS FOR THE HUMAN EQUIVALENTS OF MONKEYPOX INFECTED GOPHERS WHO NEED TO HIDE IN THEIR HOLES TO AVOID CONTACT! If I didn't get my point across, maybe this one will. Before I say it, no one helps me with my rants, nor is my opinion or says on in this rant reflective on Jay or the other ranters.  Okay, here it goes. I know Arkadelphia has very little to do socially sometimes, and sometimes it is hard to find people who want to do a bunch of stuff on the weekends. However, if you go home, it is the social equivalent of slitting your gut open, watching the blood ooze slowly out, followed by your intestines, all the while, slashing furiously at your wrists and neck, resulting in a pile of plasma, bile, and goo that was once you. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you stay at college! What are you going to do that is so freakin important?  Hang out with old high school friends? Make new college friends! You have 3 months a year to not see the college friends! Hang with them while you can! Also, why? Do you need your laundry done by your mommy? Um........ right. So when you live away from home (or maybe you're not planning on doing that) you just might have to do it yourself anyway, hmm?

In closing, I would like to make this a beacon of helpfulness for anyone who is willing to take advantage of it: Next year, if you need help (learn to do laundry, upperclassmen are evil, professors are stupid, you need to learn how to study, and how not to party) come check me out. I want to help you. In fact, nearly anyone will want to help you if only you will just ask. Freakin ask! Swallow your pride and ask! This has been a message of the council for Freshman with Larger Balls and More Maturity Than Anyone Council. (FLBMMTAC - pronounced Flabemtac!)

 Paul - whose about to be beaten for "freakin" diminishing our authority