The Disease Strikes Back
      by Leigh Anne (Guest)


 Monday, October 27, 2003 - 11:03 AM

    I have been called many things, but as far as I can remember, I have never been called a disease. I don’t know about the other “diseases” but, that means that I’m moving up in the world. My only question is; what disease am I comparable to? I like to think that I am one Hot Virus, but something like anthrax would still be a compliment. The boys on the site, on the other hand, I see more as bacteria. When you first see them, you don’t think much about it. They’re not really dangerous, just annoying, like a bad rash. But then, they begin to grow on you, kind of like a Yeast infection. They feed off the freshness and vivacity of our young flesh, and then slowly smother us to death. Now, I don’t know about the other “diseases,” but sometimes I feel that it is time to kill my host and move on. But then he’ll look at me with those big eyes that can’t be described as any one color, and I feel like I have to stay with him. It’s my service to humanity: to keep my boy happy. Well, someone has to do it, so I suppose that I’m taking one for the team. I hope that there are rewards in Heaven for this, because the Lord knows that I’m not getting any respect right now.
    I also realize that some of the alleged “symptoms” that I have caused look pretty bad, so I want to tell my side of it before everyone jumps to conclusions. I would first like to address the issue of the enormous bruise: he had it coming. I was provoked, and I retaliated accordingly. As for the insomnia, I went to sleep long before 5:15 a.m. so I pose the question: what in the world was he doing while I was asleep? On second thought, I don’t want an answer to that. And we all know that the ranters experienced symptoms of confusion, delirium, and paranoia during the height of their bachelorhood, so I find it ridiculous, and a little childish to blame these things on me, or any of the other “diseases.” It’s like those parents who blame video games when their demonic and highly disturbed child shoots a classmate. It’s always somebody else’s fault. Also, if Jay does come down with strep throat (which at this point does not seem likely) then it is his own fault. He was given proper warning, and was made to sign an agreement stating that he understood the risks involved, thereby freeing me of all responsibility if he did become sick.
    And finally, I would like to set your minds at ease and let you all know that there is no fear of an epidemic. For although we diseases can and will knock a grown man flat on his back, we are honorable, and highly selective diseases, and would not dream of infecting two or more hosts at a time- although we may occasionally mentally hit the gorilla.
 

Leigh Anne- I’m going to start kicking the air, and if you get hit, it’s your own fault

Currently watching: Fox News Live
Currently listening to: Jay prattle on
Currently reading: Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: an Introduction.
Currently playing: with myself    (!) Jay's note: I don't write them, I just post them. E-mail Her, not me...
Current emotional status: stable