Frequently Asked Questions
by John


Wednesday August 13, 2003 - 10:02 PM

  
  Yes, I know there is a cryptic moniker over in the frame to my left with the ubiquitous acronym FAQ.  You may be wondering why then do I need to waste your precious time (as if you weren’t doing that already) giving you yet another of these monstrosities to read.  Well that FAQ, constructed by fearless leader himself, is very informative on the basic workings of this site and the nature of the art and extreme lack of updates.  It fails, however, to catch the essence of the true questions.  This is by no means a slight against the pre-existing FAQ.  On the contrary this is merely an attempt to augment the reader’s understanding of that which they have come here for.  All right, enough with the fancy prologue, let us begin…the FAQ. 

Are these real people?
That depends.  Real, as in having their own personalities?  Absolutely.  Each of these characters has it’s own complete personality.  Names, locations, back histories, etc all exist for each individual.  Unfortunately we still fight over control of the body.  Hence the varied rant updates.  One needs not an individual corporeal form to be real.

 If you all share a body, how does any of the work get done?
Computers are wonderful pieces of technology.  I am able to compose this very rant and save it in a designated folder for communication between personalities.  Here Jay may, at his leisure, read and post said rant.  Since I am not in real need of the body on an everyday basis this suits me just fine.  Some of the others (I won’t give names) still have to accept fate.

 Is there any actual reason to learn Klingon?
Yes.  Right now several hospitals around the country are looking for staff members who are adept at the language.  While not actually a major hiring point compared to training and a degree, fluency in Klingon allows you a proverbial 1-up over other applicants.  Granted, you have to be willing to work in the psych ward as a translator, but think of the hazard pay.

 May I write a guest rant?
I believe that this has been addressed on the original FAQ, but as a reminder here, yes you may.  It is entirely up to fearless leader if it ever is graced with a spot on the site, but considering the low volume of late, go for it.  Also be reminded that as a guest ranter you do not have access to the Swiss cheese.

 I know that you (collective) write rants, but what about advice or individual questions?
As of right now this is left up to the respective personalities.  In the character pages specific e-mail addresses can be found.  Use those to send any specific question or advice and each individual will take it under consideration assuming Jay lets us out.

 If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares why does he keep doing it?
Ahh the eternal conundrum.  I think it is best represented like this. There is an old story of a turtle and a fish. The turtle lived on land as well as in the water while the fish only lived in the water. One day, when the turtle had returned from a visit to the land, he told the fish of his experiences. He explained that creatures walked rather than swam. The fish refused to believe that dry land really existed because that was something beyond his own experience.  In this way the corn exists, likewise does Jimmy.  As they form their symbiotic relationship us as the fish do not understand because it is outside our realm of experience.  So to truly grasp the cracking of corn, we must walk on land.

 Why are you the only persona that lives in a different location?
You must become formless, shapeless, like water.  When you put water into the cup it becomes the cup.  When you put bottle it becomes the bottle.  When you put water into a teapot it becomes the teapot.  The water can flow, or it can crash.  The water my friend.

 
I think that wraps up this particular augmentation.  If you feel that these or any other questions you have were not answered to satisfaction be sure and let fearless leader know. 

 What has now become the traditional ending paragraph for me, other thoughts…

If you like anime and haven’t at least seen the Cowboy Bebop movie I’m ashamed. Also, for those who really enjoyed strategy rpgs such as Vandal Hearts and Final Fantasy Tactics, Atlus will be releasing Disgaea: Hour of Darkness for the PS2 on the 16^th of August.  This is one of those series that never really graced our shores and while I have never played one myself, the general buzz is good, so check it out fast because Atlus never makes enough copies of their games.  And hopefully my Cowboy Bebop Cd box set will be in by the time you read this.  Yoko Kanno is a genius.

 
 John – “You’re only saying that because you don’t share a body with anyone.”

 Currently watching: Basic
Currently working on: Beating writers block.
Currently playing: Arc the Lad: Twilight of Spirits
Currently listening to: Carrying the Banner - Newsies