Hubcaps have feelings too    
by John


Wednesday August 6, 2003 - 11:51 PM

  I’ve had a very special request this week.  Bill, my extra toothbrush, has expressed intense interest in the happenings of said website.  During one of our weekly political discussions he made a simple proposal.  “Do you think I could write something on there?” he queried.  After a few seconds of silence and several minutes of inane laughter I realized that I had no useful topic to spread wisdom on so why not.  So without further introduction is a man who needs no introduction; lets hear a round of applause for Bill the toothbrush.

 Bill:  “Thank you.  I am here to talk.  Talking is good.  Once you start to talk.  It
is hard to stop.  Anyway.  I would like to speak.  On something close to my heart.  Perhaps you have heard.  Of the terrible plight of the hubcap.  If not.  Then I am here to tell you.  Our beloved friends.  Hubcaps often are placed on cars.  Sometimes they are lawn.  Decorations.  But mostly on cars.  When on cars.  Hubcaps are secured in a variety of ways.  This is where.  The trouble begins.  Too many of my.  Hubcap friends have been.  Thrown mercilessly to their injury and death.  Too many of.  Their kind suffer such fates.  Do we not care about.  The defenseless hubcap.  Is there no.  Honor among members of this country.  1 out of.  Every 3 hubcaps is killed.  When flying from a moving.  Vehicle.  Even howler monkeys.  Can buy better melons.  Than hubcaps can.  Live.  You.  The consumer must try.  And fix this terrible problem.  Helping hubcaps move to.  Yards.  When they are of retirement age will.  Help.  Check the security of.  Your fellow man’s attachment to.  Your wheel.  Have your car maintenance regularly with checks.  On the.  Hubcaps.  Buy seatbelts for your.  Metal.  Friends.  We are needlessly endangering the.  Lives of many.  Countless hubcaps around the globe.  I implore you to.  Take a stand.  Only you can.  Prevent.  Hubcap deaths and.  Injuries.  Only you can stop.  The.  Madness.”

 John:  Thanks Bill, that was incredible moving.  In fact I think I’ll move on before I start blubbering like a newlywed about its grandeur and poetic beauty. 

Jay maintains that voting is good.  So unless you wish to face his wrath and have unholy retribution rained down upon you in ranch flavored bits, then I suggest you go over to the ‘top webcomics’ button and submit your vote: for us, not someone else.  I have also pointed out to myself that proofreading is actually a positive thing.  As is spell check.  In the future, now that I know how to use these amazing tools, my rants should be a little less painful to read.

 
 John – “Swindling begets swindling like thievery begets bananahead.”  I think that’s how it goes.

Currently watching: Full Metal Panic Vol. 2
Currently working on: getting past writers block.
Currently playing: Grandia 2
Currently listening to: Shambala by Rockapella