Chess woes
      by James


Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 9:17 PM

  Loss. During the course of our lives all of us have experienced this feeling.  I am no exception to this.  I am here to tell you of an evil that is consuming my gaming habits and the world. This evil is so heinous that even I was fooled by his seemingly platonic offers. This evil is named Jay Epperhart.  It usually starts with an innocent proposal.  A simple game of chess.  What could be more fun and relaxing than a simple game of wit and strategy?  But this is the lie that the great evil wishes you to believe. For you see once he has tricked you into his little game there is no escape, death is the only inevitable outcome.  Like a cat playing with his prey the dastardly foe starts with simple, easily countered moves and all to obvious traps.  Then after lulling the helpless, poor target into a sense of false security he strikes! One by one the pieces fall victim to tireless killer.  Like a plague he descends and without any shred of moral decency he methodically wipes out all resistance to his rein of wickedness.  The good are slain and the minions of darkness sweep the land like locust.  And as if this wasn’t enough for this villain he always has an audience to watch his senseless destruction of another human soul.   I come to warn you.  All those who wish to oppose this wave of villainy unite. For it is only together in our might that this horrible pox upon our society may be cleansed. The reign of chess terror that is Epperhart must be stopped at all costs.  I call to all men and women of honor to oppose this scoundrel.  The time has come to say to this knave that we will not go quietly into the night! Nay, this is the day of our freedom! Ok, so I got a little carried away. The point is that I have lost more games of chess to Jay than modern man has numbers to count.  Why bother to tell of my humiliating defeats you might ask? Well the reason is this; all who read this know that I swear my vengeance.  I shall one day defeat that which is Epperhart and regain my honor. So prepare Jay, for now is the winter of your discontent! 
 

 "The Mick" - I’ve tried to quit my heroin addiction, so far my efforts have been in vein.

Currently listening: E.S. Posthumus
Currently reading: Napalm and Silly Putty