This was actually 3 letters I sent out recently all involving a picture which is now posted in the Artwork section. The first contains a link which may or may not work, which is what the other 2 E-mails are about...
"My Contribution to Society"
Well it’s not time for my semi-annual mass E-mail yet so this will have to tide all you over until then…
ITEM!
Have you ever just had that one person who wouldn’t take a hint? Can’t find a way to talk to them and tell them to back off? Well then boy do I have the thing for you! Through the miracles of Photoshop and lack of activities to do at work I have created the perfect piece of art that spells out a strong message to whoever gets it! Spread it around! Use it wisely! Make it known that you mean business!! For those of you who are curious, go to
<http://www.geocities.com/chocobomog/message.gif>It might take a while, it is 1.5 Megs in size, but it‘s worth to see every little detail I put into it! Plus, why just send a person a message when you can waste 5 minutes of their (56k) life too?
Just remember to download the whole thing, just because you’ve seen the first page of it doesn’t mean you’ve seen it all, I put a lot of time into this so the least you could do is wait an extra 2 minutes and see it all. Plus as a bonus for all of you “Where’s Waldo” fans, one of the words can easily be replaced with my name so try searching the picture for it! But wait until it is fully downloaded, because if you search for my name as it is downloading it is too easy since the picture will load from top to bottom and you don’t see the whole image at once.
Well glad to do a service for all of you, until next time, have a great summer!
Jay “I really do work, I swear!” Epperhart
P.S this really is meant as a joke, I wasn’t in one of those “reclusive moods” when I created it, I just thought it would be fun to do. Plus there is an interesting story of laziness behind it if anyone wants to ask me about it.
P.P.S I have also created *real* art too in my free time, and if anyone wants to see it just ask. Most of its drawn but it can be scanned. I am also in the process of coloring a pencil collage in Photoshop which will look awesome when finished.
11 Days later...
"My Real Contribution to Society"
Wow, for those of you who actually read the last E-mail (considering how many replies I got, not too many of you…) you may have found that the picture in question did not show up. Was that intended? Maybe, maybe not ;) Anyways the whole thing was just one large ironic situation. I posted the picture on my website, which I might add I have had for over 4 years and never once had a problem with, and then 10 minutes later wrote the E-mail and sent it to the ‘lot of ya. Well the irony is, for no apparent reason my website vanished (deleted) within 1 hour of sending the E-mail. To this day I have not received a reply on why it was erased, but I know it had nothing to do with the picture in question. How ironic could this be? I haven’t really used my website in about a year, so the 1 day I actually use it and send a link to it out, it disappears. After 4 years of faithful service and 50,000 hits (or as I like to call them, “taintings”) it just ups and goes right when I need it most…. I guess sometime over the 4 years I *should* have created a backup somewhere… Like they say, you never know how much something means to you until its gone. Oh well, enough mourning for now, on to the point of the letter...
I started NEW more “reliable” page today and put the same picture on the index page for now. If this site goes down, I know who to blame… basically me since it one of my duties at my job to make sure everything stays up. So here it is, enjoy the fruits of my (non) labor!
<http://www.hsu.edu/faculty/epperj/index.html>Of course check this site later when I actually create a real page not just post some picture, I’ll try to keep it updated with my current mischievous actions/pictures.
Until next time… ah heck I can’t think of a witty parting shot, sue me
Jay “For a moment there you almost sounded like a real person” Epperhart
P.S. Don’t forget to search for my name hidden in the picture!
5 Minutes later...
"ARRRRRGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!!"
This is part 3 in my “Contribution to Society” trilogy. If you haven’t read the other 2, read them first or you won’t get the joke.
I SWEAR before I sent that last letter (part 2 in the trilogy) my webpage was gone. Look at the date I sent the first E-mail and you will see the day my webpage was deleted without warning (11 days ago for those you of too lazy to look). I went to other geocities pages to see if they were deleted too, but they all worked so I knew geocities wasn’t down. Therefore my 1st
impression was my site was deleted, which it was. I even logged on to my account and it told me I had 0 bytes saved and 0 bytes allotted to me (in layman’s terms I had nothing and wasn’t given space to save it either). Finally, I wrote geocities and got an “auto-reply” saying my page was deleted. All these clues finally made me deduct one thing- MY WEBSITE WAS DELETED (I’m pretty slow, okay?)!! Okay, then I sent that last E-mail (part 2) and my page was still deleted. 5 minutes ago I checked my page…. What the heck? The internet gods hate me!!!!! My page has miraculously returned!!! This isn’t funny (but it is VERY ironic). I send out an E-mail linking to my page, and the page then disappears after 4 years of service. 11 days later I send out an “apology” of sorts for getting your hopes up and sending you to a page that no longer exists. Then I create a new page to take its place. 5 minutes later the 1st page reappears…. Okay, the irony is killing me as we speak… I am going to hit my head on the wall a couple of times and fall on the floor and wither in pain in a fetal position all while chanting “Death to Steve Jobs” (since when have I made sense? Don’t ask)… Goodnight folksJay “seriously, this isn’t funny” Epperhart
Supplement
More weird things happened concerning this web page of mine in the following months. A few days after sending the last E-mail my Geocities webpage disappeared permanently. To this day it ceases to exist and I don't ever expect it come back. Luckily my foresight (or is it insight, damn I need to pay attention in philosophy) told me to make a copy of it on my computer, so I downloaded the whole site and placed it as a backup on my harddrive. All was good and well until a very random error occurred on my computer on that black October 4th day causing me to format my C drive. With some luck I was able to back up 8 gigs of stuff before formatting, but I forgot to move my Geocities backup as apart of that 8 gigs. So I accidentally erased 4 years worth of work in one fell swoop. Now lets us all mourn its passing...
Okay enough mourning, lets go to the wake!!! Woohoo!! Party time!